10 Things You Should Never Do During a Divorce

Divorce happens, but when it disrupts your own life, it suddenly becomes very real and very confusing. Assets must be divided and custody arrangements made. The good news is that with a team of divorce lawyers for women at your side, you can avoid common pitfalls and begin to eagerly anticipate the next chapter of your life.

Ask Divorce Lawyers for Women: 10 Things You Should Never Do During a Divorce

1. Don’t Wait

Many couples say they’re going to get divorced after a child’s birthday, or the holiday season, or another important date. But waiting doesn’t change the situation you’re faced with. In fact, delaying can breed resentment that might spark more arguments during the divorce.

It’s better to take the leap now and help your children start adjusting sooner rather than later. Otherwise, you may destroy your chances for an amicable split and end up letting the court make important decisions for you.

2. Don’t Try to Hide Assets

Honesty and transparency are perhaps never more important than during a divorce. You may be tempted to lie about money, assets, or even debts, but doing so can be detrimental to your situation. You could even be charged with contempt of court if you knowingly “harm” the marriage. Examples of harm include racking up credit card debt on your joint account or giving assets to family members in an effort to keep them out of the divorce proceedings.

We recommend that rather than worry about little things like who will get the big screen TV, you focus on what really matters. Your home, your children, and your well-being are far more important. It won’t matter, at the end of the day, who gets the television. What will matter is that you’re primed to move forward with your life.

3. Don’t Forget to Change Your Will

Going through a divorce does not automatically revoke the provisions of a will. Instead, you must physically change any details pertaining to your ex-spouse – assuming you no longer want them to receive the monies and property you had originally assigned to them. You can change a will at any time. Simply speak to your team of divorce lawyers for women, and they’ll help make the appropriate updates before your divorce is even finished.

4. Don’t Speak Ill in Front of Your Children

It’s tempting to blame your ex-spouse for any number of things, from the divorce itself to your increased stress levels. But speaking ill of them in front of your children can be ruinous to your family. A divorce is not easy for anyone. Kids tend to become scared, confused, and even resistant to change. You can avoid making it worse by keeping negative thoughts of your ex-spouse to yourself.

Remember throughout the divorce and after that your children are human beings. They shouldn’t be treated as pawns. Instead, you need to show you’re there to support them. When you feel angry or upset, speak to your attorney or friends rather than your children. This keeps you from saying something you might later regret.

5. Don’t Play the Blame Game

This point plays off of the previous in that you should resist playing the blame game. It helps to remember that at one time, you and your ex-spouse loved each other. Sometimes relationships fall apart even if the parties involved have the best of intentions. Assigning blame at this point doesn’t help. Just the opposite, it can make a tough situation even harder.

Consider instead that you’re two people who simply can no longer be happy together. You will both benefit from living separate lives. Some divorced couples even maintain strong friendships after the proceedings are finished. Accepting this fact will help you overcome the hardship and rebuild your life.

6. Don’t Forget You Need a Separate Bank Account

This may at first sound obvious, but in the midst of separation or divorce, many couples continue to put money into their joint bank account. This can, however, become a point of contention during the legal proceedings. 
Now is the time to set up your own bank account and start putting your money there. Also, advise your ex-spouse to do the same. You won’t have to worry about them taking money from the account or racking up debt, and you can better understand your own financial situation.

7. Don’t Compare Your Situation to Others

If you have friends or family members who have gone through a divorce, it’s important to know yours will move and flow on its own unique course. To this end, you shouldn’t take advice from those who don’t understand your situation. Doing so can damage your emotional health and derail your efforts to proceed with an amicable divorce. 
What you should do instead is use your own intuition and knowledge of the situation to smartly navigate the divorce process. And ask a team of well-qualified divorce lawyers for women for legal advice. They will arm you with all the information you need – and ensure you’re prepared for each new step in the divorce process. 

8. Don’t Stop Speaking to Your Ex

You may feel that completely cutting ties with your ex-spouse is the best answer. But this is rarely the case unless you’re dealing with an abusive partner. In most situations, maintaining open and honest communication is vital to the success of the divorce. To illustrate, staying on the same page for property splits and custody arrangements can help the proceedings move more quickly. 
The key is in establishing boundaries about when and how to talk with each other. You don’t need to stay friends if the situation is too uncomfortable or painful. But keeping a professional and cordial relationship really is best for the whole family.

9. Don’t Neglect Your Mental Health

Speaking to a therapist can help you manage the emotions that will sweep over you throughout the divorce. It’s smart to get help before you sink into a dark depression or feel overcome with anger. A therapist can help you speak positively with your children, deal with stress, and remain calm in court. They can also help you navigate the path to self-sufficiency. In this way, you can see they’re far more than just someone to speak with.

10. Don’t Rush Into Another Relationship

In the earliest stages of divorce, it’s easy to feel sad, disillusioned, and lonely. And what better way to overcome these emotions than by finding love again, right? Unfortunately, rushing into another relationship can only add to your stress. You need time to properly process the divorce, and self-care is essential right now. Forget the temptation to meet someone new and instead ask yourself:

  • What makes you feel alive?
  • What do you really enjoy doing?
  • What are your hobbies or passions?

Learn what it feels like to prioritize yourself and your well-being above all else. Also, be available to your children anytime they need you. As you become more comfortable with your new lifestyle, you’ll be able to care for yourself and your kids in a new and profound way.

During a divorce, it’s crucial you put aside strong and damaging emotions in favor of cooperating with your ex-spouse. Among the many tasks you must focus on during this time, it’s important you not hide assets, speak negatively in front of the children, or neglect your mental health. As you adjust to a new way of life, we’re here to provide the legal guidance you need. Schedule your free consultation by contacting Woodford Sathappan McGee today.